G2: Golden Gate Tournament April/May 2019

Roy: You know, both me and Brick have been focused on this tournament, trying to keep all these titles under the Jackson Hole banner, so I must have missed it when Tank McDaniel decided it would be a good idea to let two oiled up baffoons into the arena and take shots at the two of us. I mean what the dick is going on around here? Have these guys ever actually had a tag team match before? Brick?

Brick: Hrmph

Roy: Exactly. Whatever. If they want a shot, fine- book the match. Lets see how well they flex with their arms broken and stuck up their asses.

Brick walks off camera

Roy: What the… Jesus Brick get over it, Doc was trying to win that match same as you. Cmon man…

Roy takes off after Brick, as the camera focuses on Wonderland training Danny Angelo in the ring in the back of the gym…

*The scene opens to a shot of a quaint little cobblestone road running parallel to a charming brick-walled canal. The road is filled with bicyclists and the canal with small houseboats. The buildings hugging the side of the road look improbably narrow and some even seem to lean out over the street. In about half of the buildings, a scantily clad woman stands in a glass window with a red light burning behind her. Out in front of the buildings between those, people sit on terraces enveloped in clouds of smoke and giggling. This is Amsterdam.*

REPORTER: This is where he said to meet. Do you see him?

*The reporter looks around but doesn’t see the man they’re looking for. The cameraman sweeps up and down the street again, taking in the pleasant scene. Suddenly, a sharp ear-splitting whistle rings out behind them. They whirl around and spot Dirk, one of the many people sitting on one of the aforementioned terraces, enshrouded in smoke. He waves them over, a large conical joint dangling between two of his fingers.*

DIRK: Jongens! Come and have a seat.

*The reporter and his cameraman join him, looking a little wary about all the marijuana in there air.*

REPORTER: I thought you said we were meeting at a coffee shop.

DIRK: This IS a coffeeshop, you stomme eikel! In Holland, if it says ‘coffeeshop’ in English, that means it’s a weed store. I guess I should’ve expected an American to be utterly ignorant of our culture.

*The reporter shrinks into his seat a little bit. Dirk offers the joint to the cameraman who starts to reach for it, but the reporter stares daggers at him for doing so and he retracts his hand.*

REPORTER: You’re not… um…. concerned you might fail a drug test or something when you get back to the States?

DIRK: *scoffing and coughing* Are you kidding me? In the i.W.e., our drug test is simple and straightforward. David Harley asks “Do you smoke weed?” and the correct answer is yes. Any promotion with a different policy is a promotion I simply won’t work for.

*The cameraman laughs and the reporter scowls.*

REPORTER: So what made you decide to return to your home country of the Netherlands, Dirk? It seems like an odd time to take a vacation, seeing as though you have quite a few bookings stateside in the near future.

DIRK: Frankly, I just needed to get away for a little bit. I like the United States, but there’s one glaring problem with that place: it’s full to the brim with Americans. I can only take so much of them at a time. They have a very bad energy about them.

REPORTER: I’m sure your disappointing performance in the G2 Tournament also had something to do with you wanting to get away for a while.

*Dirk takes another tug off the joint and glares at the reporter, clearly annoyed by the statement.*

DIRK: It wasn’t MY performance that was a disappointment in the G2 Tournament, it was the cowardly, underhanded behavior of all those wretched Warrior Pro guys that was the real disappointment. I’ve never met people so devoid of dignity and honor in my life. I quite clearly kicked everyone’s ass all over the place, just like I always do, and the only two men to beat me both had to go to great lengths to cheat me out of victory. I guess that’s just the Warrior Pro way.

REPORTER: It seems that on top of your ongoing beef with Rampage Hunter, you now have a bit of a feud brewing with John Logan as well, after Rampage helped him steal a dubious victory over you in the second round. Do you anticipate meeting either of those men in the squared circle ever again?

DIRK: I don’t just anticipate it, I can go so far as to promise you right here and now, I will be meeting with both of them again. Soon. And those encounters will be quick ones, both ending with swift kicks to empty American skulls, and my wrist being raised in triumph. Guaranteed.

REPORTER: Those are two of the top names in Warrior Pro! That seems like a pretty bold promise to make.

DIRK: Does it? *shrugs* To me, it seems more a foregone conclusion than anything. The sun will rise again tomorrow, the sky will still be blue, water will always be wet to the touch, we’re all going to die one day, and any Warrior Pro wrestler you put in front of me is getting his ass kicked. These are just a few of life’s guarantees.

REPORTER: So if you could have it your way, who would you want to get your hands on first? Rampage or Logan?

*Dirk tugs thoughtfully on the joint and looks out over the canal.*

DIRK: I suppose Rampage has made enough of a nuisance of himself that it warrants my immediate attention. So I believe I’ll be paying him a visit first.

Tank: Welcome everyone to the 2019 Golden Gate Tournament Final’s press conference. I’d like to congratulate both men sitting beside me for winning their respective blocks for the second consecutive year. It is our expectation that they will put on a hellova match. If John Logan wins, he will earn a title shot. If Doc Wyatt wins, he will be able to choose, from the tournament participants, his opponent at the next show.

On top of that we have a really exciting card for you, with some very interesting matches that will lead into our first anniversary show in July- more details to come on that at a later date.

The card for this Thursday, June 6th at 5:30pm PST on Twitch:

G2 Showcase Tag: Kevin Royce/Salvador Sosa vs Johnny Throwback/Lobo Muerte

iWe Intercontinental Championship: Dirk van Oranje vs Rampage Hunter II

Tag Team Championship: Beef and Brad vs Jackson Hole Outlaws

Wonderland Dojo vs Baron Wrestling School

Golden Gate Tournament Finals: Doc Wyatt vs John Logan


I’ll open the floor now for any questions…


Reporter: Tank, any update on Vic Baron’s condition following the assault from Yoshi Tayaki in their tournament match?

Tank: (sighs) Yoshi has been fired. He can say he quit, and that’s fine, but his relationship with this company is completely over. While I thought he presented some very interesting matchups, he’s continued insistence on attacking wrestlers outside of the ring is and was uncalled for. Vic is going to be fine, but the toll of the last 6 months- between his grueling feud with Machine Gun and the lengthy tournament schedule- he needs to heal up. And it’s killing him that he can’t participate in his father’s match.

Reporter: About that match, do we know who will be participating?

Tank: Both Austin and Wondy will be announcing their teams later today, but the stipulations for that match are quite large. The winner will be the permanent head trainer of the Warrior Pro Wrestling School- Training Grounds.

Reporter: Any comment on the situation going on in Lucha POWER? Were you aware of the ownership change?

Tank: I… uh…. don’t have a comment right now.

Reporter: Doc, its been almost a year since you and Logan last faced off- are you excited for the rematch?

Doc: Am I excited? No. Should I be? What has John Logan done to deserve my attention? He had a really great match losing to Rampage, a guy I beat. Several times in fact. He had a really great tournament… except he didn’t have a really great tournament. He only won the block because Rampage helped him beat that goofy Dutch guy. I should be fighting a goofy Dutch guy right now. So no, I don’t give a shit about Captain Second Place.

Reporter: John, this seems to be a bit of redemption for you, losing this tournament last year and getting a second crack against the same foe. What do you think will be different this year?

Logan: I’ve never been more motivated for anything in my life. Doc Wyatt needs to be shut up. Doc Wyatt isn’t as good as he thinks he is. That’s a fact. Yes, I lost to him last year. Yes I lost my title shot to Rampage. And yes, Rampage got involved when he shouldn’t have against Dirk. I can’t change the past, and I can’t control other people’s actions.

But I’ll tell you one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt. Doc Wyatt will not beat me on Thursday. Doc Wyatt will not beat me for the championship. Doc Wyatt’s days of running his mouth unchecked are over. Did you watch his match in TIPWF? Notice that Lone Star belt isn’t sitting over there next to him? Notice how his human wall Brick isn’t there next to him? The era of Doc Wyatt is over, and I’m the one closing the door.

Doc: You know what I hate? I hate… the concept that you think you’re better than me. Where did that come from exactly? You honestly think you’re sniffing this title? You would have to beat me twice. Twice. There isn’t a chance in hell that’s happening. So declare whatever you want. Era’s are for chumps. Doc Wyatt is immortal.

Logan: Three days. You have three more days to run your mouth in that motherfucking suit. Then you gotta pay the bill. Thursday is collections day.

(Both men get up and square off nose to nose, Logan stone faced while Doc grins ear to ear as the press conference ends)

I’ve chosen my two top students to represent my team in our match against the Wonderland Dojo. Markus Winter put on a fantastic tournament at the G2 and has a bright future. And Danny Angelo has all the makings of a future world champion. I intend to not only beat the tar out of Wonderland, but to show him who the superior teacher really is.